I don’t know what is worse this place or my husband? My time here has been awful. I have to pretend to be a good patient when all I want is to run away. I have to lie about what I see, hear and feel. When I most needed of him, he dumped me here. He knew he was my answer to everything. I guess it’s my mistake too. Why in the whole world did I have to marry a guy who does not believe in ghost? Why did I marry a guy with such low values? If I tell you I have been seeing this ghost/spirit for six months would you believe me? I don’t know why this started but I know I look insane to others. I was a normal person and now I am writing this letter hoping you read it. I hate to admit to you that I am hiding under my therapist desk. I decided to write the truth. It is up to you if you believe me or not. I feel like other people must know about it. I am not crazy and 30 percent of the people here aren’t either. We just can see what others cannot. He is lying on the floor with his eyeballs completely white. I know he killed him. Every single person he kills looks the same. He just stops their brains. In every autopsy, they were just brain dead.
Everything started the day I went home early. I got out and there was someone next to my car. They were doing something to it but I couldn’t see any damage. I should have known that day was the last one I was going to be able to sleep. I got into my car and look to see if everything was good. I could swear that the smell of putrefaction was equivalent to 15 corpses. I cannot explain to you the feeling I had. I had this fear inside me. Somehow my body was in alert but about what? The smell was terribly disgusting and got even worse. I had to drive home with open windows. The weather was freezing. Eventually, I had to puke the lunch I had in my stomach. Yeah, I had vomit on my dress. That was gross too so, that gave me more nausea. I turned to grab some tissues instead I grab someone’s arm. I looked and there was no one there. I looked at the rode and definitely, there was a bright red Mustang. I completely crashed into the back of his car. I have been in other accidents before but this is the silliest. I try to keep calm and forget what happened. I mean I am not telling the police I crashed because I got scared by some ghost. Oh boy! Driving had never been a piece of cake for me but this is beyond me. I was talking to the guy I crashed into when I saw a kid inside his car. I asked him if he had a kid with him and then what made me nuts was his answer. “No.” When I went to look at how much damage I made to his I found a kid. He was around 12 years old. He turned to look at me and he had no eyeballs. I couldn’t even scream or move. All I did was to fall to the ground and had an epileptic attack. That was what the doctor told me. I had never suffered anything like that before.
A week later I was sent home. I had tried to not think about it. I remember all I wanted was to move on. I didn’t even tell this to my husband. I was so confused but sure of what I saw. I was afraid to recognize the truth. All I thought was about why I saw him? I know Mark, my husband, was worried about me. He took care of me but the nightmares were getting out of control. I started with nightmares about that kid. Then, they were about eyes. I had blood all over me and I had someone’s eyes in my hands. Later, my nightmares became more vivid. I start to walk in my sleep. I just got up and started running. One time I fell on the stairs. Mark had to take me to the emergency room. I also end up getting stitches on my forehead. I learn that you are not supposed to run towards a wall. One night I run outside the house and Mark had to chase me. That night I told him about my nightmares and all he told me was to stop watching horror movies.
It looked like the only way for these nightmares to go away was to sleep less. I made sure to only sleep when Mark was around. I would sleep less than 5 hours a day. I got rid of them that way. All I wondered was for how long I was going to be able to keep up with this. I was happy to stop having those horrible nightmares. They were consuming my energy. I was relieved but I was celebrating too soon. The house was now the issue. Anything that I placed anywhere ended up somewhere else. Knives, keys, wallets, shoes, and clothes anything ended up missing. Later on, I found them somewhere else. I took my wedding ring off one day and my husband found it in the food I cooked. How did it get into our tacos? I don’t know. The moment he stared at me I knew he had one question. What was going on with me?
I started to panic the day I saw him in my bathroom. I was getting ready for work when I saw him. He was standing there. I felt an extreme fear. I couldn’t make a word out of my mouth. I just stood there, he stood there. I don’t know for how long we were there but the sensation of it was spine-chilling. It felt like an eternity had passed. I had this strange presentiment that I needed to find help and the sooner the better. I need to tell Mark the whole truth and I was sure he would help me. Unlucky for me he didn’t. He was pale like no other but he completely shot me down. He just told me to stop making this up. My own husband did not believe me. What could I expect from others?
There was one person who believes me. I thought I was going to be alone on this but Marian believed on me. She was my best friend since elementary school. She is the kind of person who will believe in anything having to do with paranormal stuff. She placed a doubt in my mind. What happened in my life that caused me to start to see this? I tried to recreate the day everything started. The only thing out of place was the person next to my car. Wait, was that a person or was I the only one who saw that? I spend days talking to her but I found nothing. We couldn’t find a connection between my life and the reason why I saw that kid. She also brought a point I couldn’t believe. What if they weren’t looking for me? What if I saw them because of Mark?
I couldn’t stand living with him anymore. Every time something happened in the house he blamed it on me. He even mentioned to me a coworker he had. That is the guy who is dying in front of me at this point. He couldn’t help me. Anyway, we had a strong fight that day. I was tired of hearing and seeing these things. I was tired of him telling me: it’s nothing, it’s your imagination, you need to stop it, it’s enough, when are you going to be yourself again, I am tired of you, you are getting crazy. We told each other so many things. I couldn’t stand to be in the same house as him. I called my friend and told her I want to stay with her. She was so supportive and she died because of me. If I hadn’t called her that day she would still be alive. I was getting everything into her car when the door closed on my fingers. I broke one of my fingers and the pain was so intense. You know when the doctor asks you from 1 to 10 how would you rate your pain? I assure you it was 12 and more. Marian was standing next to me when I saw the kid behind her. I told her and turn around. She couldn’t see him. I was terrified he was way too close to her. He had never been so close to me. I mean he was 1 cm away from her. I told her to run and all she said was, “is too late.” In a matter of seconds, she was dead. I went next to her body and her eyes. Her deep brown color was gone and was replaced with just white eyeballs.
I think I got used to living with this kid. I mean I saw him every day and hear him. Every time something happened I knew it was him. What used to scare me now was my daily life. I had lost the only person who believed me. I didn’t know what else to do. I started to hate my life. I need a solution. Meanwhile, I was making sushi I had this idea. I didn’t think thought about it twice. I sliced my wrists. I can swear I saw the blood and then I saw the kid. I fainted and I wakened up on the floor. I looked at my wrists and they had nothing. It was as just I had never done it. There was only my blood and the knife. I guess was not allowed to kill myself on this game.
I watch horror movies and I still couldn’t understand what I was living. I still cannot. I try to talk this to other people but I couldn’t. I was so afraid of being judged. I mean I was already on the nerves of my neighbors. I mean is not normal to have a dead person on your driveway. Is or normal to scream at night. I stopped been myself a long time ago. I feel like a doll who is been push around. My nightmares had come back. No matter if I sleep 1 hour or 15 minutes I get them. They are always the same now. I dream eyeballs. They are in my hands, in my food, in jars, on anything. I look more dead than alive. I am skinnier and you can definitely see my collar bones. Most of my hair has fallen off. I look like I may die at any moment.
I just want to sleep. I was on my duty of finding sleeping pills. Mark was a doctor and he had no sleeping pills anywhere. What kind of doctor is he? I couldn’t ask him about them because we practically got divorced since all this started. He ignores me the way I wish this death kid could ignore me. I went to look at his car for some I know he should have. I am looking everywhere and I see he has a lunch bag in the back. He never cooks and he hates taking lunch. I opened the lunch bag and there they were. I was in shock. I stare at them when I felt horrible pain on my head.
He got rid of me. I was in a white room with a doctor asking why I wanted to kill myself. I told him everything. He didn’t believe me. He just sent me to a deep sleep. This happened again and again for weeks. During those days I kept having the nightmares but now they were different. The scenario had changed. Now I had different jars with different eyes in them. I don’t know why but I keep having on my mind that I needed to find a pair of gray eyes.
I have been trying to keep my story as realistic as possible. I told them I had no attention from my husband and I made all this up because I felt left out. I told them I saw nothing in his car. I lie and lie just to be able to be awake. He hasn’t come to visit me since I have been here. Instead, the kid has been here every day. I keep seeing him. I just didn’t tell anyone. I was sitting in the garden when this guy and old lady come to me. They asked me why this kid had been following me. Other patients keep mentioning him. What surprised me is that no one is afraid of him. There is a girl who always talks to herself. I must say I thought she was a little crazy too. One day I sat with her in the garden. The moment I sat on that bench I was the kid she was talking to. I was in shock. He was talking to her. I was completely out of my mind. “Haven’t you wondered where his eyes are? Maybe you could find them, for him” she said to me. At that moment I remembered my dreams. His eyes were gray. I suddenly remembered the smell in the car. I knew where they could be.
The only place with a window was the doctor’s office. I don’t know how but I made it out of that place. No one saw me and no one heard me. I walked far away from the clinic and took a taxi. I got home and enter the kitchen door. I knew he always leaves that door opened. I went to the garage and searched for the eyes. I couldn’t find them. They must be here. I went to look in the passenger seat. He had been sitting there all this time. I found them. The smell was gross and made my stomach turn upside down. I called him but I couldn’t see him anywhere. The person I found was Mark. I yelled at him. I couldn’t understand why he did it. I felt the anger in my body as if I was that kid. He took his eyes not only from him but from so many others. He was a doctor. He had to help people. Instead, he sold human eyes on the black market. I felt as this kid had used my voice to speak. I lost control of my voice. I was able to see the fear in his eyes.
I was sent back to the clinic. My therapist was Mark’s friend and he helped him in everything. I know this now because he tried to kill me 5 minutes ago. He told me how I knew way too much. He said it was easy to make a lonely, lunatic, woman disappear. He said,” Your green eyes will be a good sale.” That was his last words before I saw his eyes become white.