No Technology. No Problem.

no contact

It was a normal Wednesday.  I went to the movies with my friends. I have four amazing friends that I have known since high school. There is a point in life where we have to find what we love and go our separate ways. We have less time to see each other so we decided to create one day to go and watch a movie. It is the one thing we can all agree on. One of those Wednesdays I found a guy who was having issues. He was having some trouble with some jalapeños for his popcorn.  To my surprise, we end up in the same movie. I didn’t see anyone with him. I walk over to his seat and ask him if he was alone. He said all his friends were busy so he came alone. I invite him to sit with us. There was one empty seat next to us since it was a single seat. You know when there is a full row and there is only one seat at the end of the road. No one wants that sit there because one goes alone to the movies but apparently he did.   I told the girls he was alone and I felt bad letting him sit there by himself. That was a lie and they knew it. “We have no issue with you getting a boyfriend. We actually think it is about time,” one of them said.

I usually hate talking to people about movies because they just watch it without thinking.  A movie is something more. It has something more to say than just dialogue.  He understands that and I talk to him about the movie.   I find out his name is Elias.  I don’t know if I was enchanted by his beautiful blue eyes or I was amazed by his brain.  My friends told him that they had all had issues and I would need a ride home because all of them suddenly had something to do. I was so embarrassed and I am sure I was more than red. He was so nice and took me home. On the way home I see his phone and discovered he had a girlfriend. OMG! I was about to cry. I had been flirting with a guy with a girlfriend and my friends left me with him. I say nothing else till he got to my house.   When we get there I say thank you and get out of the car as fast as I can.

The next day I received a text from him. He was apologizing about everything and explains it was his ex-girlfriend. He said he is trying to move on from the past relationship. It was a long distance relationship but he would like to get to know me now.  Then a question pops out in the messages. Would you like to go out today?   Of course, I said yes!  We went for a delicious dinner but he said something that stayed in my head for the rest of the night. He had one condition we needed to date for 5 days without any social media, text, emails, nothing that is common these days. I was kind of curious about it but also very insecure. Was he hiding from someone? I really do not know him and communicating like this was weird. He was saying something but I interrupted him with a YES!

It was a Friday morning and I woke up to the sound of a person knocking on my door. Who could it be? I haven’t had anyone at my door that I didn’t expect. I mean all my friends send me a text when they are here before they knock.  I opened and Elias was there with a restaurant bag. I was so confused and uncomfortable. Why didn’t he tell me he was going to come? I mean a text would be great so I could look presentable. At that moment I realized we are not allowed to do that. We ate outside my house, in the little table I have.  We talk for a bit about irrelevant things and other stuff which I notice will not help me to get to know him.  I had no way to ask him whatever I wanted to know. I could not get information about him on Facebook. I couldn’t know what he was doing later because I couldn’t check Instagram, I couldn’t see him on the Snapchat map. I mean we had to plan things ahead and actually ask those questions that you would rather do over a text. I was realizing how much life had changed with technology. We need to have a real communication and work on the relationship during the time we have together.  I had to work so he couldn’t stay too long but he did not forget to ask at what time I got out so he could pick me up. I was so surprised he did that. I mean he was planning on being there for me. He was doing everything the old fashion way. He waited for me and took me to and from work. I must admit it was so nice to have him waiting for me. That night I, when to charge my phone and I, had 46% of battery. Usually, I have 13% or I had to charge it at work.

I had told him I would see him in the night since it was my day off but I had so many things to do with my parents.  Next thing I know is he wants to tell my parents we are dating. Since he will be picking me up so often at my house he figures he should tell them. I had never, introduced anyone to my family because I always meet them somewhere else. I mean I have a phone and other stuff so we can meet and find each other somewhere else. There was no need for them to come over. Elias didn’t want a misunderstanding as a result of waiting for each other. So, he said he will always pick me up. That was a really interesting night since my dad was happy about me finding a person like Elias. My dad value so much that this guy came to tell him that he is my boyfriend and he will love to have his approval and for him coming to pick me up. I have to say I was so surprised by everything. This sounded too formal and I didn’t know how I felt about it. I was confused and I didn’t know what was happening. My dad had never been comfortable with me dating anyone or at least that’s what I thought. I mean is not like I told him who was who. Did that annoy my family?  After Elias left, I talk to my mom. I explain it wasn’t that serious and that I was just getting to know him. She said they were okay with it but it was just nice to know with who I was with.

Elias planned where to eat for lunch and I planned the dinner for our Sunday. I have to tell you I had to fight against my curiosity the whole morning to not stalk him on social media. We both had the morning free and he said he was going to visit a friend. I wanted to meet his friends and see his past. I mean you know social media can tell you a lot. I was driving myself nuts with my curiosity to meet his ex-girlfriend. I wonder if he had a picture of her. I need a distraction so I could be able to keep my word of dating these 5 days with no social media with him. I started to edit the picture I wanted for my next post. My mistake was doing it. I got some comments that remind me I haven’t told my friends that I am dating someone. I hope all the comments of beautiful, xoxoxo and other stuff don’t annoy him and don’t affect my relationship with Elias. I mean he will not see it but at the same time, this is the kind of thing a relationship didn’t have to deal with in the past. How many problems have we created for things that are so irrelevant? I mean the whole world doesn’t need to know who I am dating. I think I am realizing what it is that he wanted to escape from.  The time we spent together that day I was able to be only with him. I was not answering other texts, snaps, or comments during our date and it was nice to not have to look at my phone. We never post anything about us being together so it was nice to be together only the two of us.  He picked a restaurant with some delicious tacos. We did some shopping for clothing and other stuff to go swimming. I had book a reservation in a restaurant where we could eat seafood. I asked him before and he was good with it.  I don’t know how to explain it but I feel I got to know him so much in the past days and we haven’t had any arguments. Usually, there are small and really stupid disagreements but I was happy with everything. I think we both know time is precious since we are not allowed to look for each other over text.

I got a call from work and that I had to go in two hours earlier.  I almost forgot Elias is the one taking me to work that day so I had to call his house. He lived alone so I didn’t have to worry about other people answering the phone. Thank God we both had a phone at home. My mom was surprised I wasn’t using my cell phone. I remember her face.  It was clear what she was thinking, telling me I haven’t used the phone so little since freshmen year of high school. I got my first cell phone and I never got away from it. He didn’t pick up so I left a message. I hoped he listened to it. I went to work in my own car since he never showed up. I looked at my phone and there was no text from him. Of course, there was not text! I do not know why I was so mad. I mean I was bothered because I didn’t know anything about him the whole day. I was mad because if we would have used our cell phones this would not be happening. I went to his house after work and he was not there. I mean did he just vanish, had something happened to him, is he still working or I mean how can I find him? I decided to go home. He was there eating my mom’s food. He was waiting for me and he said he didn’t know what was the best thing to do, so he came over and waited. I felt lost without a way to reach him. I felt insecure about what was going on. It was so stupid and the feeling of it was horrible.  I need to learn to be less dependent on technology. The first thing I thought was how I needed to text him, not how I could find him. That Monday was the longest Monday of my life.

I was supposed to meet his friends for dinner at his house. I end up waiting hours for him to get there. I was annoyed by the fact of him being late. Once again I didn’t know what time he would show up. I had to admit this has been hard in some ways and so beautiful in others. I fell to sleep in my car when the lights of a car wake me up. We had to talk about this and get a solution. We couldn’t be doing this.  We need to make a plan to not have to wait for each other. Communication was the key t. In cases like this, we need to go home and wait for a phone call. This way we will be waiting but in the comfort of our own house. We also learn about our jobs and how the hours of our shift can change and why. Having this info was more easy to see how we can be late and by how much.  It was hard to be dating like this but I feel more connected to him. It was more valuable to know these things instead of just getting a text. It makes me wonder about my past relations of how we said good morning over a text or anything without trying to hear the voice of the other. I mean I don’t even call anybody. Why did I pay for unlimited calls when I don’t even use them? My decision was made I will try to make phone calls more often.

I had told Elias I couldn’t see him on Wednesday since I had to meet with the girls. That Wednesday I made sure to wake up early before he left to work. I called him wishing him to have a great day and of course a good morning. I forgot that it was the fifth day of our little challenge. I was so surprised I made it. I mean it was so weird but it felt so good. I was actually happy with our relationship. I was getting used to having him coming over to talk and even cancel plans without just texting. I was at work when I was surprised with beautiful pink roses. It was cute and a gesture you don’t get that often. I mean the last time someone wanted to make me feel appreciated they send me a text with a happy emoji and a heart next to it. I told my friends about everything that day. They were so confused to know how much it had changed me and my relationship. Now in days is like the whole internet needs to know about how happy you are with your boyfriend.  The worst part is how hard you work to look happy. I have seen couples fight and then just like that they are smiling for the cute 3 month anniversary picture. The time people spend with their significant other is based on the likes of our pictures together. Once you get to be with the person that is next to you, you are not really there since you end up looking at what everyone else is doing expect the guy next to you. If we don’t post that we have a relationship in Facebook that doesn’t mean we don’t have one. Why did I need to see the people he knows in pictures when all I have to do is ask? Why did I need to know about the ex-girlfriend? I need to believe in him, not in what I see other people post and say about him. I need to talk to him because this relationship is between us. No one needs to be inside of it. Now, we will have to work on dealing with it and finding the middle. We know Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter or any other is there we just have been avoiding them. We need to respect each other space and work it out.  He asked me to do this to ignore all these issues couples have nowadays, but what we need is to learn to solve them. I run out that day and go to look for him. I told him all that I thought and he explains so many things we both agree on. He explained how hard his last relationship was. Everyone knew when they fought because she ended up posting a comment about their fight. He will get annoyed by people saying stuff to his girlfriend. How his friends tag her on night outs he didn’t know she was at. It was hard to understand her but it was harder to listen to everyone else opinion. He was tired of the game of being deleted on Instagram because they got into a fight.  He was so done being insecure about the woman he dated.

I am not going to tell you we didn’t have our issues after we had to add this entire social media thing into the relationship but we learned to believe in each other. To ask each other first before letting someone else’s comments invade our relationship. We learned to have our life separate but together. We respected our space and our time to do what made us individuals. We find the time to be us and not just me. That was the most beautiful Wednesday of my life because I was able to see what I did wrong in the past and I tried to fix it.  I was able to find the person who understands me and loves me. We both connected and we both wanted to make it work.

Finally, I finished telling the story to my nice when the phone rings. He always calls at the same time so we don’t miss each other. Elias is now on a trip with his family and he always calls at night to talk a little bit. We could face time but we try to keep it simple.  On our birthdays we send cards instead of posting it on Facebook. Those cards remind me of the day he asks me to date him for 5 days with no social media. We try to talk about the important stuff when we are together and not in a text. I am glad we are able to keep together with less issue and the ones we have now we know we can talk to each other. We live the moment we are together and we don’t feel the need to take a selfie to show the internet how much we love each other. We don’t spy on the other because now I have the confidence he will know what is right and what is not. I think every couple will find their own way to be comfortable and happy and know how to deal with the issues relationships suffer nowadays.

“Angelica did you set up the appointment with the chef to look at the menu for the wedding?” my mom yells from the living room.

Elias and I just laugh because it is incredible how long we have been together and how much we are willing to stay together. “I’ll let you go and help you with the invitations when I get back,” he says. He knows that I will forget to invite some people.

 

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